Thursday, August 13, 2015

On Forgiveness

         I certainly do think that while utilizing forgiveness in therapy could cause brilliant break-throughs for client healing, this inclusion of the concept of forgiveness would necessitate a paradigm shift.  This shift of conception would have to take place on both the individual and societal levels.  Until people can have high levels of wisdom, empathy, compassion, deeper understandings of the meaning of life and a holistic picture of their existence, then forgiveness is not going to be an easy method to teach or to utilize in therapy.

          In previous weeks we have debated the utility of spirituality being applied in the counseling realm.  When working with forgiveness, it seems imperative and most effective to apply it in a spiritual framework.  The reason for this is not initially clear, however it is paramount.  Having a spiritual foundation allows for people to understand something more than their ego existence.  So the guilt, resentment, and all other transitory negative feelings which are ego produced can be released.  Then one can re-attain the peaceful state of the soul which includes forgiveness.  To ask people to forgive from a lesser mindset, one which is still bound up in ego dramas, materiality, greed, selfishness, etc. is like asking a baby to give up its favorite toy.  It’s not really a reasonable or even fair request.  Of course your ego self wants to fight someone who appears to have wronged you.   What benefit does it see in forgiving?  It just wants to win, come out on top, to outshine all others, etc.  And as long as a client is based in the realm of ego mental space and functioning, then the client will also be highly resistant to cohesive, unifying, compassionate approaches.

            But your spiritual self inherently wants peace, harmony, kindness, compassion, forgiveness of self and others, tolerance, understanding and all of these other grounding psychological feelings.  Regardless of the religion, there are universal truths that can be utilized to reach these feelings, as mentioned in the article (McDowell, 2007).  One can approach forgiveness from any soulful route.  But for an individual to feel the benefits fully, I do believe that forgiveness cannot just be a mental exercise, but has to be an experienced that is embraced with the body, mind and spirit. 

            The holistic view of life which incorporates the soul, or a higher perspective, can be taught in a way that it becomes ingrained in people.  Then forgiveness becomes a natural response as opposed to an effortful, or even sometimes seemingly impossible task.  To ask an ego mind to forgive an affront is setting oneself up for a battle.  To ask an enlightened mind, that recognizes the oneness of everyone, or the eternality of the existence of the human soul, to ask such a soul to forgive is to ask the sun to shine.  It is a natural and beautiful process that does not need much coaxing.  When the ego clouds move away, those radiant inherent qualities of love expose themselves.  Meanwhile the human who is having this experience becomes more psychologically sound than could be hoped for in an average therapy session.  That is because this is not about mind, but rather it is about soul which trumps the mind.

            So ultimately yes, forgiveness is a great therapeutic tool.  But a tool is used to fix a system.  The spiritual system must be put into place for a client to apply the tool of forgiveness easily and successfully.  So the therapist must build the proper system with the client, and then they should apply the tool of forgiveness and other positive qualities as needed.  In this way therapy can reach levels of healing which were unprecedented in former intellectual models.

Resources:


McDowell, C. (2007) “Peace: the Virtue of Forgiveness,” Retrieved on August 14th, 2015 from http://www.onesanctuary.com/peace/peacevirtues/virtueofforgiveness.pdf

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